LIFE IN MONO

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

"regardless of race language or religion. to build a democratic society"

A.D.C DEEPA-RAYA 2009

there's so many pictures taken,

see the fun up in my facebook.

i swear they are bring joy to my life in NYP.

life would be so much duller without them

though they bring may bring me anger and tears at times.

but when it comes to fun, they're always the big cause of it.

school has started.

island hike is in 2 weeks time.

i'm not looking forward to carryin heavy bagpacks around singapore.

but i'm looking forward to taking many pictures with them.

there's a saying in A.D.C that:

"superstars run away when they see paparazi but

paparazi run away whenever they see the people of A.D.C"

p.s: i'll be doing abseiling and high elements tmr.

and i am so freaking scared.

i admit i have no balls.

i found a reason at

11:49 PM

Sunday, October 04, 2009

5 more days left to the end of attachment.
i swear i hate the two farkers that's with me,

but i so love the SNs and ENs that im working with,

not forgetting my super ultra cute patients that i so love.

love unconditionally, is what i should do

to improve the care i give to my patients.

i love the ward, i walk around like my house.

talking about ward and hospitals,
i cant wait for grey's anatomy Season 6 Episode4.

seattle merging with mercywest?! so much of suspense.

love that cant be talked about is a punishment itself.

each & every day i keep trying to forget it all.

i tell myself i can pull through each time,

yet i keep feeling a pain deep down.

it feels that my mind have already forgotten you.
and my speech to seem to have forgotten you.
but my heart, still aches each time.

the fact that, in the past few months,

in the midst of my heart, i'm deeply concealing

something that i just cant talk or shout about to anyone.

its either you naturally know,

or you'll never know what im feeling.

take care all.

thanks if you're still reading my blogspot.

keep in touch via my LJ, where life seems carefree.

where by my emo feelings cant be let loose cause ppl

will just call me that "attention seeeker" cause apparently,

now, im a person that seem to be banned from any emotions but happy.

just how unfair can life be.

sigh.

i found a reason at

12:01 AM

Sunday, August 09, 2009

This years love - David Gray

HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK IS OBVIOUSLY MY BIRTHDAY.
in which i spent the entire day in the library.
but thanks to these 3freaking jokers,
they made me laugh my ass off.

FANDY, HAKIM, FANDY, YOU GUYS ROCKS!
(apparently they forced me to put this up after they "hack"
into my laptop and saw my blogger URL.)

so that's about it?
those 3idiots better be honoured,
that i published this entry just for them.

a part of me seems to be hurting so badly.
yet, i still refuse to acknowledge its because of you.

i found a reason at

12:13 AM

Sunday, July 12, 2009

I'M SO FREAKING OUT FOR MY HEPATATIS B JAB!!!

its been so long since i've actually blogged here.
my LJ will be more active now since its made for
my life in a new envrionment in which im still adapting.

to make my life easy,
readers who knows my LJ,
please read my LJ and stop asking
me to blog on my blogger alrighties!
if you dont have my LJhtml, just email me.

so i shall just summarise what has happen over the few weeks.

I passed my NGTfeeding practical.
I got really bad sunburn thats still peeling.
I sprained my ankle and it got worse due to the continuous trainings.
I've ran more than 10km in one week.
My biathlon is finally arriving this coming sat.
I'm chionging for another 4 upcoming presentations.
I still have 2 upcoming marathons.
I have a sea expedition coming up.
I'm halfway through my adventure trainin course.
I love speed training during kickboxing.
I CUT MY HAIR!!

okkay i realise 3weeks passed so slowly.
i'm trying to kill myself physically and mentally,
such that by the time im home id be totatally exhausted
but still, i find myself thinking again and again each time.

so i've cut my hair.
my hp drowned so no more old phone.
running around and studying hard for distractions.
my hectic life filled with so much troubles that i already
have so much bottles labelled "troubles" up on the shelf.
i've got my knee guard. i've got my ankle guard. i'm ready.
ready to run this long troubled route of life. running to move on.

i've learn not to be emo. and just move on.

i can finally bottle things up.
and save people their ears lifespan,
by not complaining so much to them.

because i cant cry.
i'm not supposed to cry.
cause in nyp, iryani's not a girl that cries.
iryani is a bubbly girl that talks aloud and laugh out loud.

but am i really laughing aloud?

so please...
move on.

i found a reason at

8:09 PM

Saturday, June 27, 2009

iryani's currently a problematic child.
one that has so many problems in her mind.

having that great feeling of wanting to explode.

and im so running away.

like there's the durian race later.
my knees seem as though itd give way soon.
trainings are making it so freaking pain but its not as bad,
as how my heart is currently feeling this very moment.

its a feeling so painful.
i've been charged guilty for so many things.

and is probably on the most wanted list.

or probably,
im not wanted at all.

somebody, save me from the plight.
still, i've come to a realisation that,
keeping things to myself, is the best way to live life.

cause you can never really rely on someone totally.
and i should learn to not depend on anyone and just,
bottle up everything and just cry to myself when i need to,

cause when i die,
i'm going to burried down there alone.

nobody's going to come with me.

not

even the closest of all friends.

so iryani should not pester anyone anymore.
i'm sorry everyone.

im sorry my love.

i found a reason at

3:34 AM

Sunday, June 07, 2009

PRACTICAL IN SEVERAL HOURS TIME!!

and so its been several donkey years since i've updated.
okkay, my blog is dying faster compared to my LJ though my LJ is just as bad.

poly life really have been hectic and whatsoever.
shall just give the highlights and go nothing in depth,
cause i'll stick to my word that blogger wont hold much
content about my poly life as i'll talk about it all in LJ.

highlight of the week is that,
I'VE WITHDRAWN FROM CIBTC!!!!!!!
like i was so pissed talking to the people,
that they sour up my mood to even go for the camp.

wahlaooo, want to excuse me from my exam just to go for the camp.
so annoying luhhh. i'm so not happy can!! = iryani withdraws out from it.
in other words, this means i've officially wash my hands off npcc and everything.

WAHAHAHAHAHA!!
p.s: angelinajolie's sister said that iryani's very fierce.
so currently my classmates wondered how fierce i can be.
wahlaooo!! i where got so fiece one can.

so let me bid my final goodbye to npcc.. like..
GOOODBYE!!

goodbye to that and HELLO to ADC and KICKBOXING!!
wooots!! 2CCAs so i wont grow horizontally day by day.
though ADC wore me out so much i feel like dying after training,
and kickboxing ends up giving me red fist due to too much punching.
either way, this 2 CCAs are indeed killing me but i totally love it.

they tie me down so much such that tues is my only day im free from cca.
mon, weds and fri are for ADC and thurs are for kickboxing.
but honestly, CCAs are the only thing that keeps me sane
from the 8am-6pm of school i have.

well, indeed, i'll be having my practical later.
its a must past thing or else we wont be send out to clinical.
damn it!! so practiced on all my family members checking their bp and all.

besides pratical my hands are tied up with ICA(project).
think i've flunk one of my ICA = sad iryani that burst out crying.
other than that, i've scored myself a B for bio and pass my C.thinkin ICA.
i've also been a bookworm wriggling in the library searching for books.

so i think i shall end it here.
those who have my LJurl, go read it there luh.
anyway, i'll be gone for the next 2 weeks yupp.
that's because i'll be busy for my cousin's wedding this week,
and i'll be gone on a 5day 4night expedition the following week.

toodles guys!!
p.s: i'm missing so many of you guys there.

i found a reason at

11:14 PM

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

TRY - Nelly Furtado

Try - Nelly Furtado

All I know
Is everything is not as it's sold
but the more I grow the less I know
And I have lived so many lives
Though I'm not old
And the more I see, the less I grow
The fewer the seeds the more I sow

Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try

I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn, the more I learn
The more I cry, the more I cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life
I thought I had designed for me

Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
I'm all I'll ever be
But all I can do is try
Try

All of the moments that already passed
We'll try to go back and make them last
All of the things we want each other to be
We never will be
And that's wonderful, and that's life
And that's you, baby
This is me, baby
And we are, we are, we are, we are
Free
In our love
We are free in our love

I FEEL ABUSED BY MONSTER!!
monster make me feel so sad.
moooooooooooooooooo.

anyway, i know i usually post my songs on sunday,
but i'm just tired from sitting here anddoing research all day.
so much for telling nat that i'll start packing for camp stuff today.

school just cant get any exciting.
if camp is somthing to look forward this week,
i have my redbloodcell practical to look forward to next week.
but im deftly not looking forward to week 5 that's packed with exam & presentations.

however, life is definitely different now.
there's so many things i feel like ranting,
but there's no one person in school that i trust.
there can be days that i'd feel so affected by this
that i just dont feel like being high and just keep quiet.

sucks.
and i feel myself drifting away from people,
which gives me a much more sucky-er feeling.

did i mention, my inhumane grandma pissed me off.
damn her, fancy her complaining about me watching my korean shows,
saying i make so much noise and all but hello! if my parent dont mind,
why should you? you ass. plus, you 've been caught in action peeping through,
the tiny gap when you leave the door close to watch my korean shows too right?!
so what on earth is your bloody freaking problem.

like hello! none of your children wants to take you in,
isnt it good enough that my mum took you in.
FUCK YOU SIA!

i hope you, "say bye bye to the world" soon.
if i could say this right in front your damn face,
i'd say i totally despise and hate you okkay!
you turn me off each time i return from school,
such that i'd rather be locked outside than to press the doorbell
and wait for you to open the door and see your bloody freaking face.

get it?!
I HATE YOU!
and im happy i've lived for more than a year,
without having a decent conversation with you,
and treat you like a rag after all you've done to my parents.

moo..
i just wish i can talk to somebody now.
life seems to be demanding so much from me.

i found a reason at

10:14 PM